Friday, March 23, 2012

ejected from Genderbridge

well. it seems that the TG crew decided to eject the dissonant voices.

i've been re-iterating the distinction between physically based TS and gender role based TG issues in Genderbridge, a supposedly inclusive branch of the TG borg.

so they kicked me out. they didn't kick out more influential TS, who were saying the same stuff as me, but louder.

here's what i said to them:

every other post seems to say , or link to a site that says "TS is TG". i know it is a popular view, but it really feels like we (non TG TS) are being told that our voice is to be silent.
it hurts.
i'm really really fed up with being continuously told that i am gender variant. i'm not. i'm extremely clear in my gender identity and have no confusion. most of us are. you don't get surgery if you are in doubt (unless you are insane)
the reason i don't give up is because i feel it is horribly damaging to the mental health of TS women, pre and post op, to be told we are TG all the time.
i guess i had an epiphany - when i shook off the TG programming and just started being myself. 10 years of my life wasted, 10 years living in gender confusion because so many people told me i was.
i can't say who, but a few pre-op early journey TS women are now talking to me regularly _because_ i've been speaking out (and i've tried really really hard to not be offensive in any way - the only time i slipped was when danavixen called me a guy)
they are glad to have found someone who sees things clearly and think its really helpful for them. so i feel that my stance is at least partly exonerated.
it worries me that TG males may become deluded and get SRS (or as it is now disingenuously called, GRS), only to discover how wrong it is. there is no 'spectrum' of gender - being TS is pretty distinct, and it seems only those who have not have surgery ever say otherwise. (even the males who get it and regret it and then start attacking the TS healthcare system)
and i really don't understand why people are feeling unsafe. how can they? i can understand feeling unsafe if you are TS, as we are being continually, personally, attacked. i've not seen any evidence of return fire. in fact, most of the TS women posting are careful to outline how they have no issues with transgendered people.
allowing this to keep being buried when it needs to be addressed is causing a split, when really, common sense and good manners says that what the TS 'separatists' are asking for "don't label us as TG, please" is a perfectly reasonable request. we never say that TS women cannot call themselves TG, only that we are not called it without our consent.

this is their response:
We have reviewed the GenderBridge Facebook group and after complaints by a number of members and concerns by the committee that it was becoming an unsafe place, we have decided to remove a number of members, including yourself, that persisted in attacking groups or individuals, removal was based on those people making the place unsafe by their actions rather than for their specific views – GenderBridge is primarily a support group for all Transgender people where members need to feel safe.

there is definitely a head-in-the sand situation here. I was repeatedly personally attacked, without censor from the admin. when i asked if i was being singled out for accusations of "making people feel unsafe', no one would say anything.
i was honestly confused. was the fuss about me (as i suspected, given the admin lack of censorship of personal attacks against me) or was it about the appalling and transphobic behaviour of several of the TG members? there is no evidence of me attacking anyone - as i didn't. well, maybe one tit for tat with danavixen, who accused me of being full of testosterone and then bitched when i said i was post op, and hence free of testosterone, as if i was pulling some kind of rank.

at any rate, GB has shown it is not inclusive, and has given me and other TS women the ability to stand up to them in public and say "These people do not speak for me".

i worry for young TS who are pulled in and brainwashed by this branch of the TG borg. "we are all the same". i sincerely hope (and will work to prevent) that these kind of groups do not stop a single TS woman or man getting access to puberty blocking drugs. and god forbid one of these deluded TG males decides to get his dick cut off. Evidence says that the sexual fetishistic thrill of crossdressing loses its allure along with the testicles... ( (

so. goodbye genderbridge. you fucked it up, big time. hello "transsexuals of new zealand" , a new group for NZ transsexual men and women to offer support free of the TG nightmare. We have no free phone number yet, but most of us are available for conversation, support, advice and shared experience.


  1. Well said Flow and I totally agree with every word. GenderBridge has shown itself to be elitest and discriminatory. The leaders of the gang are merely interested in their own goals and aims. They do not abide by their stated rules and merely work from do as I say, not as I do mentality.
    They are extremely dangerous IMHO to young, vulnerable, emerging, impressionable TG of any sort. Throwing a protective blanket around them offers little support in reality or the real world.
    The board of this group should resign forthwith and put in a statutory manager until it can all be sorted.

  2. Go Flow....
    Unfortunately Genderbridge have a history of this
    Don't cause bad karma and waste energy going against them, just start your own group as you think it should be run and work with them. People will choose who gives the best support.


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